Who, What, and Why?

After last night's post, I have decided that I should probably give you all some background about who I am, why I'm writing this and what I intend to do with this blog. 

So, as most of you know I'm Ffi. I'm in my early 20s and I'm currently studying English literature at the University of York. I'm sure there will be a lot of literary references in my future posts. This blog will primarily focus on how I am coming to terms with a lot of things that have gone wrong for me and how I am working to overcome the anxiety, depression and eating disorder that they have caused. I lost my dad when I was twelve, suddenly and traumatically, and that's sort of been messing me up for a while. Also, sometimes mental illness can't be traced back to a specific cause, so maybe it would have happened regardless of other factors. I guess that's the sort of thing I'll be covering in my future posts.

I have decided to keep a lot of my personal details hidden for the moment, although most of the people who will be reading this know me in real life. This is because there is still a lot of stigma and I'm a little worried about future employers coming across this and certain family members. I hope you can all understand and respect that, I just don't want my previous mental health difficulties to affect my life any more than it has. I want to feel safe to be as open and honest as I want to be. 

I've decided to commit my thoughts to a blog for several reasons. I guess it's not quite as public as an Instagram account or whatever, people are less likely to stumble across it. I have been meaning to write and make sense of things for a while. I feel like I need to write these sort of things down as if I am writing them to an audience, so that I'm explaining them to someone else, and I have struggled to do that in a hypothetical way. I want people to be able to learn from my mistakes and turn them into a slightly more positive experience. I'm not looking for sympathy or attention, I just want to clarify things for myself and provide resources that I wish had been there when I was really unwell. I want to focus on how I'm starting to get better and what my goals are for the months and years to come.
Posts won't be regular and the prose might not be the most elegant thing ever, but I promise it'll be real. 

Thank you all for the awesome response this has had so far

take care 

Ffi xx